Counting Crows

The gripes of last week haven’t entirely gone away, but some things have improved.

For your information, I reckon there are now about 5,000,000 assorted crows, not to mention their friends, nesting in the trees next to my house. And yes, I know exactly how many zeroes I’ve put after that 5 and no, I’m not going to delete any of them. It is not hyperbole – it is what my ears are telling me is an accurate figure.

This morning I found a fledgeling crow hopping about in the garden (no doubt SPYING on me on behalf of Crow Headquarters in the tree opposite). I told it, in no uncertain terms, that I had purchased a four pack of ear plugs from Boots. Hopefully this message has now been passed on by the juvenile secret agent, and my feathered tormenters will realise that their evil plans have been foiled.

In the meantime, to make up for the loss of the Stinking Billy crop, my little helper has assisted with the planting of the most garish dahlias I could find in the shop.

Dahlias with built in crow repellent

And unbelievably, one of the plants I set last year has actually blossomed. This is an almost unheard of event. I was so shocked I could barely hold the camera, but felt it important to get the evidence before the whole plant is eaten by killer slugs overnight.

Help!

On the craft front, things are going less well. The alpaca has not progressed. His legs are willing, but his body is totally deformed. I’m going to give it one more week and then advertise it as a stunted mule. What’s the worst that can happen?

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This week I have been mainly getting used to having foam in my ears.